Timesheets | Episode 0: Coming of Age?
Timesheets | Episode 0: Coming of Age?
Timesheets: Making entries about adulthood
Hi,
It has been a while.
I’m launching something new.
A spin-off podcast series called Timesheets. While it is a podcast series, I also think I’ll be writing and publishing stand alone blogposts too. The idea is to document my transition into adulting and attempting at making sense of it all.
This episode is an introduction episode.
Please give it a listen and let me know what you thought !
Hi,
I’m Nirmal Bhansali and you’re listening to Timesheets, a new spin-off series that I’m starting. This is the introduction episode.
I’m in a weird place currently. I’ve moved out of my house temporarily. I’ve shifted from one tiny room, to a different one. I’m in a different city. It’s supposed to be a new beginning? A switch. A new chapter. A different journey. The next phase of life. The real world.
All my life, I was used to living to get through the next stage. From primary school to high school to college. Once I would get done with college, I would reach the elusive real world. I thought that the real world would be amazing, brilliant, harsh - yes, but definitely worthwhile. Things have not gone quite like I thought they would.
As I entered college, I was always lost. I viewed my life as an observer and was extremely averse to building connections. I was nervous around people and places. I couldn’t find my footing for quite some time. I did not know then what I wanted to do with my life, I thought I’ll figure it out eventually.
Then with passing time, I met wonderful people. I learnt how to care more. I was no longer a passive observer of my life, I was participating. I came to appreciate what I was doing. I made some amazing memories. Built magical bonds. Slowly, I was able to soak in moments. Not be cynical about them. I could live them.
A couple of friends recently remarked that my college phase is like a classic coming-of-age story that you see in young adult novels or movies. Maybe minus a lot of the drama.
In the end of the classic coming-of-age story, the characters have it all figured out. We don’t see their future of course, but it’s safe to say they know what they’re going to be doing in life. By the end of the story, they are feeling infinite in the moments they’re living.
I’m here now. In a different tiny room, almost a year after graduation. Filling in my timesheets of the work I’ve done in the past month.
I am supposed to have gone through my own coming-of-age story. I have come of age. So, why is it that by the end I haven’t figured anything out? I’m still lost. Grappling with the responsibilities I have or the thought of responsibilities I will have. Unclear on the paths I should take. Quite frustrated.
Maybe I just had a bad ending? Maybe I wasn’t supposed to figure it out. Maybe I should just accept that my life is not a fictional story. Sometimes, there is no middle in sight, forget the end. I am struggling, but my friends often remind me that I am not alone.
The normal notion of a coming-of-age story is that it happens only once. The story ends with the protagonist having a defining moment of clarity, the end credits roll and then you’re done. But, I guess I have to accept that my story is not over yet. There is no post credit scene with a heartwarming and wholesome montage after coming of age. So much of my life is unlived, unwitnessed, unexperienced. Perhaps I shouldn’t be content with just one coming-of-age story. I’ll live through a few more. It’ll be messy, harsh and unique but unavoidable.
That is what this podcast is about.
It is an attempt to document my confusion in figuring out adulthood. I’ll share my stories. I also hope to have conversations with others about their struggles with adulthood. I want to make episodes about people moving places, making shifts in their careers, figuring out the different obstacles that come with adulting. I think there’s a lot to share and I hope I get to.
The series is called called Timesheets. I’ll be making entries about the moments that come with navigating through the unexplored, chaotic and crazy path that is adulthood.
I hope you like it.
This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you're listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment I swear, we are infinite.
- Stephen Chobsky, Perks of Being a Wallflower
Thank you so much for listening/reading !
If you liked it, do share it with people you think who would !
I hope to be making more entries in this series. So, do subscribe !